Your wife is complaining. Most of the men would chime in and say they experience the same at home. What about the woman? I should know since I am a woman, right? Complaining that your wife has nothing to do with the cause you are holding onto at the moment. You’ve likely already found out. Today, you probably didn’t take out the trash and tomorrow it might have more to do with the fact that she’s always expected to cook dinner. Every day brings a new complaint and you are right, tired of it. I know because men often write to me on my blog and that is what they struggle with. They love their wives, but the constant negativity is exhausting them.
It is almost impossible to ignore your wife’s complaint if it has been going on for some time. It is difficult to determine exactly what drives her if her tone changes from day to day. By that I mean, one day your wife might bring her complaint in a rather nice way by letting you know that she loves you so much but she wishes she’d put more time into the remodeling project that she’s not quite finished with. At another time, she may be more daring and outspoken and calls you lazy while you pout why she is marrying you. The second method is clearly more painful for you, but regardless, any time your husband sends negativity in your direction, this is a cause for concern.
In order to get your wife to stop complaining, you need to determine why she is doing this. There are several different reasons for including the following:
Your wife is unhappy with her life. If your wife finds no gratification in her life, she will begin to show herself in her behavior. If she is rude and unequal to you, that may be okay because she does not like who you become. This may, or may not, be a reflection of your marriage. As her husband, it is important to realize if this is happening and start working with her to resolve her unhappiness and bitterness.
You feel an emotional detachment from you. Resentment is a very personal thing and the way each of us expresses it is unique. You may allow your unhappy wife to express themselves in an uncomfortable situation and complain. If you feel that you are not putting as much effort into the relationship emotionally as it was, she will start to resent you. You can usually tell if this is behind her actions if she rarely shares how she feels with you anymore. She might just feel that it’s not worth the effort to expose herself emotionally in this way.
She has a very controlling nature. There are times in each of our lives when we feel out of control. This could be during a difficult illness, job loss, or even some marital problem. One of the ways some women deal with this is because they try to control everything they can and what is going on around them. If they cannot control certain things, they will focus more on the things that they can control. This is a boring and endeavor for the people around them as they have to learn to balance a woman’s demands against the empathy they feel for what is happening in her life.
You can help your wife overcome her tendency to complain by talking to her about what the deep-rooted issues are. Be very nice during this conversation and if you refuse to open up, don’t push it.
Use your inner insight as her partner to identify what she thinks is the main problem and then work on improving it. If she feels she might feel disconnected from you, spend more time expressing how you feel about her and focusing on her. If you suspect she is using control as a coping mechanism, ask her if she would like to seek treatment as a couple. This can help you not only deal with what’s bothering your spouse, but build a stronger bond at the same time.
Source by Gillian Reynolds