Arranged marriages have been a subject of concern for centuries. Authors throughout the ages have explored this topic at length, and it still appears in literary works to this day. What is the appeal? Is it the infatuation with the lack of lust and desire that we cultivate in North American society? We strive for the element of danger, which is forbidden, while arranged marriage is usually a safe way to ensure that the family agrees to the engagement.
However, many of today’s romantic novels deal with marriages of interest. We’ve all read it: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father – there are as many reasons for marriage as novels dealing with this topic. However, although marriage is not initially dependent on love, there is always this sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we know it’s inevitable that the two fall in love deeply and irreversibly.
But what about real life, where things don’t always go well? Arranged marriages are common in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. It’s more common than you might even think in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.
Young people in countries where arranged marriages are common are told from a young age that their wives will be chosen for them. The refusal of an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of a lack of respect for the family. But how are suitable couples selected? In Japan, for example, “When a woman reaches the marriage age of 25, she and her parents collect a bundle of information about her, including a picture of her in a kimono and a description of her family background, education, hobbies, achievements, and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to find out. What if anyone knew a man would be a suitable husband for her ”(Asia Society Video Message from Japan: My Family, 1988). Usually the most important aspect of choosing the right spouse is the bond between the two families, not the relationship between the married couple. Property or land to secure social status Marriage agreements are sometimes governed.
Do arranged marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate in arranged marriages much lower than in the United States, where love marriages are the norm. However, research also shows that the stress that spouses face from society as a whole, and from the families involved, indicates that divorce is often not an option.
Can love grow from an arranged marriage? Certainly, in the same way love can grow in romantic novels from the marriage of interest. But there is more than just finding a perfect match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It is impossible to predict whether or not the union will succeed. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the protagonist and heroine in their story.